NOISE POLLUTION

All of the people at the agency have exquisite taste in music. I was amazed, actually. I figured that they'd all know about the BIG time "cool" bands (Nirvana, Clash, Pixies, etc.) but I never figured the depth of their knowledge would be so extensive. I've had talks about bands like The Birthday Party, Killing Joke, Mission of Burma, The Stooges, Husker Du, and they all know them. That's the agency. The rest of Manila, however, is another story. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a cab or a mall and heard probably the worst song of all time, the brutally sappy "Lady in red" by Chris De Burgh. Uggggh. Seriously, I've heard that song at least 5 times in two weeks. Another winner that's played incessantly: "You're the inspiration" by Peter Cetera. Also, any fluffy, corny-ass piano ballad you could describe as "positive," "uplifting," or "inspirational," chances are I've heard it about 1,000 times. I've heard every acoustic power-ballad by every hair metal band of the 80's here, although I haven't heard any electric hair metal. I think my testicles are actually shrinking with every second that I'm exposed to this mind numbing, testosterone draining assault.

But last night I experienced the 'piece de resistance' when I was tooling around in the back of a cab while dude was listening to a radio station called "Love 90.7" or something like that. The DJ's were talking to each other and one of them says "I've been getting REALLY into PCM rock lately," and right as I'm in the middle of thinking "What the fuck is PCM rock???" he answers it for me: Positive Christian Music. My heart sank.

Now there's only ONE time I'll ever agree with a hardcore bible-thumper about anything, and that's when he says that Rock and Roll is the Devil's music. You're right. Rock and Roll IS the Devil's music, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't fuck with it. The Devil is perfectly happy with his record collection. Keep your creepy little born-again fingers away from it. Rock and Roll needs Christianity like George Michael needs pussy.

I'm not saying there's no place for Christianity in music. Some of the best music ever made is deeply spiritual. I LOVE Gospel music, and that's as Christian as it gets. Mahalia Jackson has one of the most earth-shatteringly expressive voices I've ever heard, and it's all for God. I'm just saying that Rock n Roll is about SIN. Lust, envy, greed- you name it, rock has it covered. And that's why I love it so. Let's keep it pure & evil.